Personal Responsibility: The Four Agreements + Giveaway

The Four Agreements

“Also, go inside and listen to your body, because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth.”
― Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”

Today I am sharing a very special and potentially life changing little book with you. It’s one of my personal favorites, and one I share with some of my one-on-one coaching clients.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz

This little book has been a New York Times bestseller for over eight years. It has sold over 6 million copies in the U.S., alone. It has been translated into over 40 languages. Not too shabby.

In this slim little volume of just 138 pages, author don Miguel Ruiz talks specifically to the the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Using his knowledge of Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements gives us a personal code of conduct or roadmap to follow.

But, do you want to know why I think this wee book is so powerful?

It’s because it provides a practical framework for those of us with chatty and critical ‘inner voices’ to ask ourselves what is really important. And, it acheives this simply – just by asking us to make four teeny-tiny agreements with ourselves. A kind of personal contract – one that can be 100% private. Nobody else even needs to know about it.

And – speaking from personal experience – if you commit to this contract with yourself, wonderful things can happen…

  • you may find yourself undertaking that thing you’ve always wanted to do
  • you may find it easier not to ‘sweat the small stuff’
  • you may find you can release toxic relationships that weren’t serving you
  • you may find you free yourself up to new experiences
  • you may even find that you create space in your over-active mind to focus on other things


“You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”
― Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”


It’s true. Miguel Ruiz is quite correct when he says that trusting yourself to make the right choices is key. And, this simple-yet-profound shift in perspective can have a big impact on how you view the world.

Here is an my abridged version of the agreements for you…


First of The Four Agreements


The first of The Four Agreements is to Be impeccable with your word.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about how I talked to myself. It was born out of the realisation that I spoke to myself in language I would never in a million years use on another human being. What kinds of words to you use when you talk to yourself? Do you exaggerate or strestch the truth? Do you say hurtful and poisonous things about yourself (or even others)?

To be impeccable with your word is to be truthful with yourself (and others), and to say things that have a positive influence on yourself and others. We act on what we tell ourselves is real.

Screening our self talk and reframing it to be more positive takes work. But, if you only commit to one agreement – this one has the potential to drammatically change your perspective.



Second of The Four Agreements


The second of The Four Agreements is Don’t Take Anything Personally.

When you choose not to take anything personally, you’re changing the way you think.

The second agreement provides us with a way of dealing with potentially hurtful behaviour from others. When you accept that you navigate this world differently to the next person, then it stands to reason that their behaviour is not your responsibility. It’s theirs, not yours.

When we choose to follow this agreement with ourselves, we also acknowledge that other people’s stuff is not ours. It frees us to move on.




Third of The Four Agreements



The third of The Four Agreements is Don’t Make Assumptions.

Well. If you’re anything like me, this is easier said than done. But, assuming that you know what other people are thinking or feeling about you is a limiting thought or belief. Unless you particular super power is reading mind, when we try to engage in reading the mind of other’s, we will more often than not be wrong. This can lead to all sorts of trouble.

The way to prevent this is to seek clarity before making judgments about what people are thinking.




Fourth of The Four Agreements


The fourth of The Four Agreements is Always Do Your Best.

On the surface, this agreement with yourself seems like a no brainer. Of course we should always try to be the best that we can be.

But there is a deeper message to doing your best – if you always do your best you turn down the volume on what Ruiz calls your ‘internal Judge’. I call it my chatty and critical inner voice. It’s hard to find fault if you have done the best you can.

But, the message here is also that you should not try to do better than your best. ‘Type A’s, listen up! Pushing yourself too hard can cause pain, injury, and mistakes – and this is super important for those of us who suffer from chronic disease. Recognising that our best will vary from day to day; that you are human (and therefore, fallible); that, some ways, you are always doing your best- all of these things fall under my ‘be gentle with yourself’ mantra. And, once you start allowing yourself permission to do this, that chatty and critical inner voice has no oxygen…


“Just do your best — in any circumstance in your life. It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you don’t judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.”

― Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”


We love this wee volume so much, we’re giving away a copy to one lucky subscriber…


The Four Agreements Giveaway



The Giveaway


There are 2 easy steps to enter the giveaway –

1. Subscribe to the Conscious Autoimmunity newsletter. Either signup HERE or click the link at the top right corner of this page. If you already receive our newsletter, you’re good to go! No need to sign up again.
2. Leave a comment on this post telling us just why you’d like to win a copy of this wonderful little book.

A Couple of Things to Note:

This giveaway is open to everyone. We’ll send the giveaway winner their copy anywhere in the world, even Timbuktu!

The winner will be chosen at random on Thursday, 23 February at 2pm Central Standard Time.

– The giveaway has now ended – 

12 thoughts on “Personal Responsibility: The Four Agreements + Giveaway

  1. Julie V. says:

    I’d love to win this book as I’m going through a very difficult period in my life, healthwise. Many of my views on life have dramatically changed in the past few months and I feel this book can be another positive step towards my healing.

  2. Aimee says:

    I’m having a hard time signing up for the newsletter…but I’ll keep trying. It isn’t letting me scroll down to push submit.

    But I’m super excited to read the book. I’ve heard rave reviews and think it would be awesome. Just starring out on this autoimmune journey so keeping my mind in a positive place is a good step.
    Thanks 🙂

    • Joanna Frankham says:

      Hey Aimee – sorry you’re finding the sign up a challenge! We’d love to have you – promise!

      Good luck in the draw.

  3. Sarah says:

    I would love to win a copy of this book, as I feel it would help me take the next step on my healing journey. I’ve been AIP for over 2 years, but still have some symptoms that I think could be better, and it seems reasonable to me that it’s my head getting in the way, not my body.

  4. Vikki says:

    I would love to win this book. I’ve always struggled with negative self-talk but My Graves’ disease takes this to a whole new level. If I could find some tools to nip this in the bud I’d be forever grateful.

    • Joanna Frankham says:

      Hey Vikki – that negative self talk can be merciless, can’t it? It amazes me just how I used to talk to myself (without even realising!)

      Good luck!

  5. Theresa says:

    It’s interesting that 3 hrs ago a friend recommended this book to me. I am going through a loss of a long term friendship. It’s just a huge coincidence that I ran across this.

    • Joanna Frankham says:

      Theresa – I am sorry you are hurting. Losing a long-term friendship is never an easy process.

      The Four Agreements is a wonderful little book. Good luck in the draw!

  6. Bobbi Coleman says:

    I would be blessed to win a copy of this book. At 41, I am already starting to apply some of these principles, but would love to add further depth. Often I encourage people to “go where the love is.” I am practicing on mentally holding on to what is “true” and what is not!!! I love the idea that the best I can be does not have to be this perfectionistic unrealistic person. Such freedom in that. My hope is to help others as I learn to help myself. There is no greater joy for me than coming alongside another human soul and lifting their spirits and helping them SOAR in life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.